Good Sunday Morning, wow, Mike, what a wonderful blog. I certainly agree with everything you said. Your family KNOWS what a truly wonderful loving person you are. Aren't memoires of family wonderful? I want you to know that your Dad was not shutting you out. When he was told he had cancer, he totally gave up and it was like he had leprosy or some unacceptable social disease or he just could not handle his fate, but he shut everyone off and pulled inside himself and died. He never talked about it to me or anyone. They tried to talk with him at the hospital but he would have no part of it. I am sorry you have felt it was all directed at you, sweety, it was not. Please know that. Yes, your dad was a Christian. I saw him saved and baptized (and I know this does not "save" you)but when we lived in Brownwood he gave testimonies and even filled in for the preacher one Sunday night he was out of town. Please, if you can, let go of your guilt, you don't deserve it. So many times we feel guilt and think our family and friends dwell on some bad time in our life everytime they see us or talk to us when really we ourselves are the one that keeps it alive. What I know is, if you truly, deep in your heart, pour out your guilt and fears to God and ask Him to forgive you, He does what He said He would do, He takes it all away and remembers it no more. So why should you or anyone else?? Everyday is new and fresh. Mature and learn from our mistakes and go on. Life is too short to live in the past and get hung up there. You are doing a wonderful work and I hope all of those people you serve realize how lucky they are to have such a caring person come into their life. Eletia, I enjoyed your blog and I do not see how ya'll keep such crazy hours. It takes me 2 minutes to get to work and etc. You just do not have much time left in the day I know. Anyway thanks for the update on all the kids. I know you are looking forward to your get-to-gether in March and hope you have a really good weekend. Love you all and think of you everyday. Love, Maw